Rose's garden

No one reads this anymore

2007-09-30T16:23:00.000-05:00

Haven't posted most of this month. Not like it matters tho. Chem and his woman must be pretty busy. I heard from somebody that they have a little one of their own now. If its so, congratulations guys. :) I haven't heard from any of the rest of my old readers in a veeeerry long time. Joey is doing fair in school. He has his good days and his bad days. Same thing with my relationship. But all life is like that. There are ups and downs all the time. How you handle them is what truly makes a difference.

I moved

2007-09-06T14:17:00.000-05:00

The biggest change that has gone on over the last few months is pretty easy to see. I now live in Adelanto California. I moved out west in July. Joey started school here a few weeks ago, and hes taking some time to settle in. I'm confident that he will do well once he gets used to the new class. I'm working part time, and still looking for more work. I love it out here in the desert. We have our own pool here, which is great. I do miss my home town at times, but I'm making friends and having fun out here. I've avoided going back to working in nursing homes. I loved the work, but I was getting seriously burnt out. I spent so much time taking care of people all day long at work. Then I was going home and taking care of my son and my ex husband at home. I needed a break. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to be working full time doing anything but nursing right now, but I must admit its kinda nice having so much time to myself right now. anyway! I know no one is going to read this anyway, so Im gonna cut this short.

I'M ALIIIIIIIVE!!!!!

2007-08-30T20:18:00.000-05:00

Wow.. I didn't really think this blog still existed. So much has happened in the last few months. I don't really have time to go into it all right now, but I will. soon :)

Vacation!

2007-03-01T07:46:00.000-06:00

I am so psyched. In less than a week, Joey and I are flying to california for almost two weeks. I was only going for a week, then I just kinda added on a few days here and there. I can't wait. I'm not sure what all we are going to do while in California, but one of my goals is to go see the ocean. If it were warmer I'd love to go swimming, but I doubt I'll get that lucky. I know at least part of the time I am there will be spent investigating the schools in the area. I am seriously considering moving to California. The only obstacle I haven't figured out yet is Joey's schooling. With his special needs, I have to be very picky about his schools. We'll see

Chems dead I think

2007-01-24T20:13:00.000-06:00

Well, it seems like no one has come to read my post. Which doesnt really surprise me. At least I'm not as bad as Chem tho. He hasn't posted since July. O.O Is he still alive? I don't really think so. Lets just hope Jill sexed him to death or something so that he died a happy man.

omg...

2007-01-11T21:14:00.000-06:00

Omg.. wow.. Has it really been that long since the last time I posted? Well I guess so. I'll keep it short and sweet. I closed on my house on the 7th of November, but didnt end up getting to start moving in till the beginning of December since I had no carpets at first. I'm no where near done unpacking. Christmas and New Years Eve were rather disappointing in 2006, but theres always the next year. I'm still working day shift at the nursing home. My son is doing well in school, making more progress every day. I'm still seeing my "internet boy" and I have plans to go to California for a week in March to see him. Thats pretty much the last few months in a nutshell. Now we get to see if anyone even reads this anymore.

Visit from a friend

2006-10-15T15:33:00.000-05:00

I'm being very impatient this week. I want it to be Thursday. NOW! My guy from California is coming to visit me. Or "internet boy" as my coworkers are refering to him. Whats all that wrong with meeting someone online? I think sometimes it gives you a chance to get to know a persons inside before you worry about their outside. Ah well. My divorce isnt final yet, so i do feel kinda bad about all this, but Im determined to move on with my life. I had a long time before I left my husband to start dealing with all my feelings of anger and resentment over the failure of my marriage. I feel like I had already done my grieving for the loss of the life I had imagined for my family. My ex, on the other hand has not had that time. I need to remind myself to be more patient and understanding with him.

Fun with houses

2006-10-02T23:36:00.000-05:00

Well, I found my house. Now if I can just get all the damn little wrinkles ironed out it will be mine! First it was the seller, then it was the carpets, now its my loan officer. Its a lovely little house with four small bedrooms and a nice big yard. If I ever get it bought I'll have you guys over.

A New Story?

2006-09-12T16:50:00.000-05:00

For the first time in long time, I am actually having the beginnings of a new story form in my head. I am thinking about trying a new genre. I've always stuck to fantasy set in a medieval time. I am not entirely sure yet, but I'm thinking maybe a mystery or thriller set in modern times. I feel like its time to branch out a bit. Its probably all a moot point. I'll probably get writers block and give up after the first few pages. But I'm going to keep trying.

Hi guys

2006-09-07T19:07:00.000-05:00

My how time flies. I continue my house hunting. My son is well. No one visits my blog anymore. Oh well

Just a day

2006-08-28T15:59:00.000-05:00

Its been a busy day. Busy day at work, and busy day since I got home. So much to do. I put a bid in on a house last week, but unfortunately, the seller refused to come down on his price. Since he was asking waaay to much, I'm looking at other houses. I'm really hoping to have settled on a place and be ready to move by the end of October at the latest. I don't want to be trying to move after the weather has turned pretty cold. Tilby and I have been working on a comedy routine. Keeps us busy, and we find it very entertaining, so I guess thats the point. I figure we should have a decent amount of material together within a week or two. We might even check and see if any of the local bars has an amatuer comedy night. Who knows? Maybe someday you can all say you knew about us before we were famous. :)

Tilby Rants

2006-08-25T11:13:00.000-05:00

I don't really have much to say today. Just blah blah blah. But isn't that what blogs are for? I am obessed with celebrities. Just thought I'd toss that in there. I don't care if their popular, unpopular, exquisitely beautiful, dog-face ugly, actors, singers, comedians, those people that don't really do anything but are famous anyway (you know who I'm talking about). I just love that they are known. I want that. I want people to know my name or see my face in a magazine and squeal "I know her!" The celebrities will say that they wouldn't wish their life on their worst enemy. "It's hard work, trying to look perfect all the time," they whine. Or, my favorite, "The Paparazzi are the Devil!!!!" What they convienently forget is that they asked to be famous. They say they didn't know it was going to be like that, with newshounds following them. What? Were they living under a rock until the moment of their ultimate stardom? The famous have been front-page news since the dawn of newspapers. How could they not have seen it coming? They did the same thing to their generation of stars in their youth. Anyone who says they didn't know the world would be so interested in their every movement is either incredibly naive, or lying. And if they really hated it all so much, then why are they still famous? Britney Spears is contantly complaining about how the media stalks her. Well, stop doing crap to attract their attention, and they'll stop. The media is like a carnivirous dinosaur. If you don't move, it won't see you. Stop making tv appearances. Stop acting or singing or whatever it is that your doing to cause fame in the first place. Live like a normal person, and it's like you never were. Ever watch those reality shows on VH1 and MTV? I couldn't tell you who even one of those people used to be. Know why? Cause they haven't done sh** since the 80's. That's how you get to be just like everyone else, Brit. Just shut up and disappear.
Where was I? Oh, yeah. Despite their whining, I love to watch them. Not on reality shows, cuz I don't want their bitchiness shoved in my face. I like them on stage and in the movies, all nice and made up and fake. Isn't that kinda the point of the entertainment industry? To dazzle us with smoke and mirrors and lots of shiny stuff (not to mention copius airbrushing) so we can escape the hell of mediocrity for a couple of hours? It doesn't hurt that most of them are pretty luscious to look at, either. My favorite eye candy is Dom Monaghan (don't ask. I think it's the British thing, cuz I'm a bit of an anglophile), and...well, anything male. I'm so seriously deprived I'm to the point where I think just about anything is hot. The women are nice to watch, too. Like little glimpses of what your life would be like if genetics had been kind. I look at Angelina Jolie and I think, "If I looked like her, I could date that guy." Or Kiera Knightly. "If I looked like her, I'd be HOT." Que sera, sera, huh? Sometimes, I hate life. Then I go to the movies, and it's not so bad afterall. At least my city isn't being trampled by giant robot aliens who think I look like a gooey TicTac.

Twists and Turns

2006-08-21T17:07:00.000-05:00

Why is it that some people's road of life is so twisted? Some people have the benefit of a nice straight road. Not me. Every time I turn around I am faced with some new and challenging problem that could very well change the direction of my entire life. When I was younger, I always thought that after high school I would go to college, get a good job, eventually marry and settle down with 2 or 3 kids. Look at where I am now. I'm 25 years old, with no real college education. I'm working a decent job, but its not at all what I thought I would do. I'm getting a divorce, and I have a son who is going to be 7 or 8 at the youngest before I can give him any siblings. And thats only if I even have more kids. I've been shown time and time again how unpredictable life can be, but for some reason, it never ceases to amaze me. Above all else, there is one thing that suprises me more than anything else. I seem to have an uncanny ability to find love. The ending of each of my serious relationships has been.... disastrous to say the least. But each time, I pick myself up and find myself falling in love with someone new. I feel rather guilty about it since my divorce isn't even final, but its happened again. When I decided to divorce my husband, I figured I'd buy a house, pick up some college courses, and in general move on with my life. Now everything is up in the air again. A lot of that has to do with the fact that my current flame is from California. Do I want to move there? Does he want to move here? Or should we meet somewhere in the middle? So many questions that I don't have answers for. I don't want to think it to death, but this is a BIG decision. I have plenty of time to think about it. I'm not moving anywhere until next summer at the earliest. I do have my son to think about. I'm not pulling him out of school in the middle of the school year. I guess my best bet here is to just give it some more time.

Slow day

2006-08-20T20:47:00.000-05:00

Today has just been one of those odd days. I've been insanely busy, but the day has just crawled by. It was nonstop at work all day, then as soon as I got off I had to rush home, pick up Tilby and the kids, then off to see some houses. But I've been bored off my ass all day. Why is that? Am I really that hard to entertain? I never thought so before. I have a serious case of the blahs. I don't want to watch tv. Don't want to play World of Warcraft (which is so odd for me). I thought about just going to bed but I'm not really all that tired. I think I'm just getting overloaded. Joey is getting ready to start school again, so I have to get him ready for that. Getting used to day shift has been hard since I had to totally change my sleep schedule. I'm getting my divorce as soon as I can get the money to file. I have to take Joey to St. Louis in september so his eye specialist can put him under anesthesia so they can get a better look at his eyes. I just have so much on my plate that I think my poor brain needs to rest.

Untitled

2006-08-17T09:59:00.000-05:00

My mom called me fat again yesterday. She took a toy away from my son because she wanted to play with it. My son asked me to get it back for him. I know her too well. I apologetically explained to my son that I could not retrieve his toy because grandma was bigger than me. I could not hope to overpower her and wrench it from her grasp. My mother cut in, saying, "Actually, you're bigger than I am. I'm just taller." It was hurtful, rude, and (proudly, I might add) untrue. She still outweighs me, but fancies herself the more attractive one. I don't understand where these comments come from. I'm not that big of a girl. I'm a size 13, which admittedly is overweight, but far from obese. I'll never be a catwalk model, and I can live with that. Truthfully, I like steak and potatoes too much to even try to attain such status. But for some reason, it has never been enough for my family. My father used to say to me all the time how worthless it was that I didn't have enough self-control to just stop eating and lose weight. When he became terminally ill and dropped to a crippling 130 pounds (he was a tall man), he actually celebrated and was so proud of himself for being so svelte. He admired anorexics for their self-control and priorities and he tried to instill those values in me. Thankfully, my rebellious nature rejected all his teachings. I don't fight my weight. I think I look damn good for the way I am. Because of my body build, if I was to ever reach a size 7, I would look very ill. A 10 would be great. Maybe take up jogging or go back to weight lifting like I used to do. But as good as I feel about my appearance, I still feel ashamed whenever a family memeber makes these kinds of comments. Seriously people, unless your child's health is threatened by a weight issue, do not make disparaging comments about them. It's just cruel and emotionally crippling.

Buying a home

2006-08-16T20:15:00.000-05:00

Buying a house is a scary proposition. I've never really thought about all the work that goes into owning your own home. Taxes and insurance, and a dozen other things that I never knew about. But I really believe that it will all be worth it. In a few short months I will have the keys to my first house. I already have a loan and I'm in the process of picking a home now. I'm so nervous. I want to find a house that fits my needs but isnt going to cost an arm and a leg. Wish me luck guys. I may need it.

Blabbing Aimlessly

2006-08-12T16:01:00.000-05:00

I used to laugh at people who said their parents f*ed them up. I thought it was their own weakness and inability to control themselves. Boy, was I wrong! I finally came to the realization that my family seriously messed with my head. I am the product of an ex-groupie hippie and an impovershed bourgeois perfectionist. My whole life, I wasn't talented enough, pretty enough, smart enough. I couldn't sing, dance or paint; a disappointment to my mother. I couldn't qualify for beauty pageants, get an ivy league scholarship, or become a junior republican, so I was a complete waste to my father. I can't count the many times he told me how fat I was, or how my 7 year old niece was obviously smarter than me. My mom would bay like a hound if I sang along with my fave song on the radio and straight out laugh if I asked her how a shirt looked on me. My grandmother constantly laments how sad it is that I'm not blonde. That, too bad my eyes aren't a glorious blue instead of hideous green. She always buys clothes that are four sizes too big for me, to "make sure they fit." After 25 years and counting of this, I admit I've got a bit of a self-esteem problem. I truly see myself as unattractive and unworthy. It didn't help that one of my ex boyfriends turned out to be gay, and another broke up with me because I was "predictable". My friends constantly assure me that my family is wrong and that I am pretty. I'd be more inclined to believe them if something other than old geezers and dope heads would hit on me. But I'm trying to change my internal view. Trying to like myself for who I am on the outside, since the inside doesn't seem to carry much weight in the real world. I mean, I might not be Carmen Electra, but who else is? There's only one Carmen Electra, and there's only one Tilby Noir.

Absent thoughts

2006-08-11T22:05:00.000-05:00

I was just thinking to myself just now. I had a thought that was, well, interesting. I want to go out and get totally smashed. I mean so drunk I can't stand up straight. And now that Tilby is home, I don't see any reason to wait. Cmon guys! Lets go get shit faced. Jillian! Make Chem e-mail me and tell me what weekend you guys have off. Then we can all ship our kids to their grandparents houses and go out!

Back from Hiatus

2006-08-11T22:02:00.000-05:00

It's Tilby, ya'll. I know I haven't posted anything on this blog in probably close to two years (I don't know for sure, time gets fuzzy in my head), but I'm trying to be more active. Yes, I just moved back from Texas. Yes, I just did that same thing last year. What can I say? I'm a gypsy at heart and can't seem to stay in one place for very long. My family roamed around when I was a kid and I haven't grown out of it yet. If I ever find something I want to do with my life, maybe I'll settle down. Maybe. My problem is I get frustrated with time. I want things right now and if I don't get it, I move on. "Oh, I've lived here four months and everything isn't perfect. Time for me to move on." I'm trying to be more patient with life, but damn, it's hard. Hey, at least I realize it's a problem. I've been back in Quincy for three weeks now and have only thought about moving 3 times. That's progress. Well, gotta move on for now. Catch ya later.

Im so alone

2006-08-11T21:53:00.000-05:00

I'm so alone! With no one to loo~ve me! Seriously! No one ever visits the blog and leaves comments for me anymore. I miss all my readers, but what do I expect when I just dissapear for so long. Its not like I've let people know I'm back or anything. *hint hint chem* Come on guys! Stop in and say hi at least.

Day shift

2006-07-29T07:51:00.000-05:00

More good news that I forgot to add to my last post. I'm going to days starting this Monday. I am so looking forward to it. Being a glorified butt wiper is hard enough, but doing it in the middle of the night with a 5 year old at home that never lets you sleep is even worse. My nights co-workers are beginning to think I'm crazy since I showed up on my night off this week. I would like to say in my defense though, that my new upstairs neighbors are pretty loud and I haven't had any decent sleep in about 5 days now. Anyway! Have a good weekend everyone. I intend to try.

Good news for once

2006-07-26T16:00:00.000-05:00

Time plods on. I'm still bored. On a happy note guess who moved back to town this weekend! Tilby is home and I couldnt be happier. And I actually have other good news too! I'm getting a home loan and going to be buying a house! I don't really have anyplace in mind right now, but I can't wait to start looking. I've been toying with the idea of moving out of state, but even if I decide to do so, I'm still going to buy a home here first. That way I will improve my credit, and build up a little equity in my house before I move. Lets just hope it doesn't all explode in my face before then!

Hi

2006-07-19T17:02:00.000-05:00

Hello out there in internet land! I have absolutely nothing to say but I thought I would post anyway. See how long I can ramble on before I bore you and myself. Ok. Im bored. I feel awful today. One of the nurses needs to come take care of me!

I love Las Vegas!

2006-07-15T13:58:00.000-05:00

I got back from my vacation yesterday. I had so much fun. Until it was time to fly home. I'll talk about that in a bit though. We went all over Las Vegas. We saw Star Trek: The Experience. It was so cool. I got a picture taken with a Klingon, but it didn't turn out very well. I'm going to try to fix it. We went to the Palms and saw Hart and Huntington's tattoo place. I didn't find anything I really liked, so I didn't get a tattoo. I am planning on having a friend of mine custom draw one for me and see how much it would cost to have them do it if I get to go back next year. We had some really good food. I made a point of trying some chinese dishes I had never had before. And I had sushi for the first time, which I love! I didn't do that much gambling. I was to busy seeing the sights. Then it was time to come home. I made the mistake of booking to many layovers on the trip home. I was supposed to fly from Las Vegas to Cincinatti, then to Chicago, then St. Louis, then Quincy. I was delayed almost two hours in Cincinatti and that just threw off everything else. I missed my flight to St. Louis and just barely got a seat on another flight, but by that time I had missed my flight to Quincy too. Not like it would have mattered since the flight to Quincy had been canceled due to mechanical difficulties anyway! I finally managed to arrange for a shuttle ride back to Quincy. I was so happy to finally get home. But it was all worth it!

Congratulations

2006-07-04T10:39:00.000-05:00

I know I said this blog was dead, and it still basically is, but I just had to get on here and say a few things. First and foremost, my sincerest well wishes to the newlyweds Chem and Jillian. I apologize again for the rude and uncalled for comment on Chem's blog. I am going through a very rough patch in my life, but that doesnt give me the right to act that way. The failure of my marriage has affected me in some very profound ways. I am hoping it will help me change for the better. I want to be able to appreciate it if I ever find the kind of happiness that Chem and Jillian are blessed with. And since no one ever looks at this blog I feel safe to say that I am takinga vacation to Las Vegas! I have every intention of partying my ass off! I'm going by myself and no one is going to stop me. Anyway have fun guys.

Saying goodbye

2006-03-28T02:30:00.000-06:00

To all my readers I wanted to say thank you. I have decided that since I can't devote a proper amount of time to my blog, I am going to close the blog until further notice. (once I figure out how) It was nice getting to know you all, and I'll miss your funny, and thoughtful posts. My best wishes to the MIA Chem, and all the others who use to frequent this little patch of cyberspace.

Hello out there

2006-03-21T02:10:00.000-06:00

So much for posting more now that I have my own computer. I just haven't had the time I'd like to get online. I've been very busy with work and with trying to get a home loan. By the way everyone, my birthday is coming up! Don't forget! March 31! I expect a happy b-day from all my readers. (do i even have any left?) So how's everyone enjoying our spring blizzard? I'm looking forward to spending some quality time out in the snow with my son. Of course, thats based on the assumption that school will be canceled. Cross your fingers for my son's sake!

School buses

2006-02-25T23:43:00.000-06:00

Why is it that a school transportation department can pick up hundreds of children and take them to school every day, but can't seem to show up when they say they will with my son? We've been going through some changes with my son's schooling, and because of this, he's had to start taking an earlier bus to school. We were told that my son's bus, #70, would arrive at 10:35 to pick my son up so that he could be to his class at 11:00. That is more than enough time to cross town to his new kindergarden class. We didnt have school on Monday, but the rest of the week had nothing but problems with his bus. Tuesday the bus arrived at 10:25. I figured ok, no problem. The driver is probably just adjusting her timeframe. Wednesday the bus arrived at 10:15. This annoyed me quite a bit since my son wasnt really ready to leave yet. I called the bus barn Thursday morning around 10:00 to make sure the bus would be on time that day. Of course, they assured me the problem was taken care of. Well, at 10:50 I finally got tired of waiting, and took him to school myself. And then, for some reason, the bus stopped outside our house Friday to pick him up. My son doesnt go to school on Fridays. Due to my son's transitioning school schedule, he'll be leaving even earlier starting Monday and I can only hope that maybe the transportation department can get their act together long enough to take one little boy to school.

Tilby is moving

2006-02-23T23:24:00.000-06:00

At the beginning of next month, I am going to say goodbye to the best friend I have ever had. Tilby is moving to Texas. I realize that it isnt going to be a forever kind of goodbye, but it just wont be the same. Tilby and I have known each other for about ten years, and exept for the summers she used to spend in Texas with her father, she has always been just a short drive away. I've always prefered talking face to face over phone time. And I must admit that I am worried about how things are going to go for her once she's living so far away. I truly hope that this move will be a good thing for her, but I will miss her very much. It is my intention to ask her to begin posting here on the blog more often since she will have access to a computer.
E-mail and phone calls will keep us in touch. Perhaps in a year or two I can go to texas on my vacation and visit her.

My new computer

2006-02-21T17:48:00.000-06:00

Hello to all my faithful readers! Just wanted to stop in and let you know that my posting should get a bit more consistent now. My new alienware laptop was delivered to my home this morning. So now I don't have to share a computer with my husband. Since I have my wireless network up and running I can use the internet any time I please now. Yay for me!

Life gets in the way

2006-02-13T10:22:00.000-06:00

Hello everyone. Its been a busy few weeks for me. I almost lost my job, started my son in his new kindergarden, found out my mother in law is engaged, and bought myself a laptop. Well.. I'm going to buy a laptop anyway. Later this afternoon I'm buying the computer of my dreams. Ever heard of alienware? If you havent, they are some of the best gaming computers made. Sorry the post is so short guys. To much to do as always.

Kindergarden

2006-01-28T10:30:00.000-06:00

Wow. What a week. I've been so busy. I've been in the process of working with my son's preschool teacher to move him into kindergarden. They run and integrated kindergarden class at one of the elementary schools here. That means that Joey will be placed in a regular kindergarden class that has a few more teaching assistants than normal. We decided that it would be better to start transitioning him into his kindergarden class this year, rather than wait till next year and. That way he should have a better start of things. I can't believe hes going to be five in just a few weeks. I've been pestering the hubby lately about having more kids. I've never wanted to have an only child. Two or three sounds like a good number to me. I used to want more than that, but then I think about trying to send that many kids to college. Well, I'm off this weekend, so I've got tons more to do. Have fun everyone.

Have I been forgotten?

2006-01-23T23:19:00.000-06:00

Well, I guess my fear has been realized... Maybe I haven't given my old readers enough time to realize that I'm back. Oh well. I guess I'll just have to keep working till I build up a new fanbase. But I will miss Chem and Tut, Syn and Jillian and everyone else who use to regularly visit and leave posts for me. I'm missing Tilby today. She's still in Texas with her family.

Hello all and may I just say 2006 SUCKS

2006-01-22T13:32:00.000-06:00

Hello there ladies and gentlemen. I've been gone a little longer than I anticipated. Its been rather difficult to find time for much of anything. I've lost several people this year, and Tilby recently lost her father. Like I said, 2006 sucks. I've been working a decent amount of overtime and trying to keep my family afloat by myself. Nothing new about that last part but its really starting to get on my nerves. I'm tired of my husband being on the computer when I get up, when I leave for work, when I get home, and when I go to bed. That has a lot to do with why I havent posted for so long. My husband gets annoyed with me when I ask to use the computer for anything other than playing the MMORPG World of Warcraft. Well, Im gonna keep this first post back short so I hope you guys haven't all forgotten me.

Hiatus

2005-12-28T09:29:00.000-06:00

I've noticed lately that I do nothing but bitch on my blog. Thats really not what the blog was meant for. For the most part I intended to use the blog to showcase my writing. Since I've been blocked for some time now, I obviously have nothing new to post. I was considering taking a hiatus from the blog. (at least I'm warning you guys first unlike other ppl we know) I enjoy posting most of the time, but nobody wants to come here and always hear about how sucky my life is. On the one hand, I figured I'd take a break from writing till I'm less stressed since I get blocked when I get stressed. On the other hand, I usually find writing to be a very soothing activity. What I really need is a week-long vacation in Hawaii. Who wants to donate to my vacation fund? Ah well, I can dream.

Bah Humbug!

2005-12-27T13:33:00.000-06:00

You know what guys? I hate Christmas. The fat man in the red suit can go screw himself. I was in such a good mood after visiting my parents house. Then I had to go to my mother in laws the next day. I already told you what she did on Thanksgiving. This time she scheduled the christmas lunch for an hour and a half before I had to go to work. Not only did I have to miss my son opening his presents there, but I had to skip my shower and change at her house just to make it to work on time. I don't know about you guys, but my shower time is about the only me time I get. Its when I relax, unwind from the day before, and gear up for my upcoming shift. I'm not a happy person when I don't get my shower. That and I just don't like to stink! On top of that, she bought me and my husband mostly clothes for Christmas. My husband and I are very picky about out clothes. We've told her dozens of times not to buy clothes for us unless we are there with her. And to ice the cake, everything she bought for me is too big. I know I'm not a supermodel or anything but I am not that fat!! Crazy as it may sound, the one thing that really bothered me the most was not getting to see if she liked the present we picked out for her. My husband and I spent an entire day looking at Wal-mart, K-mart, and every store in the mall trying to find a good present for her. We finally settled on a beautiful wind chime to put up in her new house. Having her new boyfriend at all the family functions is starting to bother me. Shes been divorced less than two months. Shes seeing a new guy, and its none of my business, but shes already trying to get my son and my nephew to call him pawpaw. I just don't think shes thinking about how this is affecting my little boy. I think its confusing him. He ran in his room, shut the door, and keep saying "no, bye" when my now ex father in law (who was my husbands step father) stopped by before Christmas. Its certainly confusing me. I already had to contend with 3 seperate Christmas get togethers. One for my family, one for my husbands mom, and one for his dad. Now its going to be four. Nothing in life is simple, but this is just nuts.

Merry Christmas!

2005-12-24T23:30:00.000-06:00

Ok, so its not quite Christmas day yet, but for me the celebration already started. My family always gets together on Christmas Eve. For the first time in many, many years, I have gotten something I really wanted for Christmas. (keep in mind my parents have a limited budget and I have expensive tastes) Instead of showering us with lots of little presents, my mom got us each one or two small ones and a big one. That big present was a new Samsung digital camera. I've been wanting a good digital camera since my son was born almost 5 years ago. For some reason I never got around to buying one myself. Seemed like every time I had the money something else came up that I had to pay for. I have been giving some serious thought to posting some pics on my blog. (if i can figure out how) I was going to stay pretty much anonymous on this blog, but when I stop and think about it why bother? Almost everyone who reads this knows who I really am anyway. And the rest will find out eventually when Chem or Tut blabs. That and I'd love to show you guys just how cute my son is. I'll have to think on it some more.

Christmas cheer

2005-12-21T11:47:00.000-06:00

What a lovely christmas season I'm having this year. I'm still not done with all my shopping. I feel like I'm on the edge of a nervous breakdown. I'm trying to adjust to 2nd shift again, and just when I thought things were finally calming down, bam! My father is in the hospital. His regular doctor has basically dissapeared and the doctor treating him at the hospital says he has CHF. (since most of the people who read this are in the health field I'll leave it abbreviated) While they are saying he will pull through just fine I can't help but be worried. He is my dad after all. I truly hope that the rest of you are having a better Christmas than I am. Chem must be either deliriously happy or dead. By the way Congratulations to Chem, Tut, and Keith (the other guy in there class) on Graduating. May you have a long and successful nursing career. I'm off to clean my apartment now. Which means I may not be seen or heard from for a few days.

Hi there

2005-12-16T10:38:00.000-06:00

Its been nearly a week since my last post. My how time flies. Christmas is even closer and I'm still not even started. I just can't seem to get into the christmas spirit this year. I've already got so much on my shoulders that Christmas just seems like another burdon for me to bear on my own. I want to ask you guys for some advice. I have a problem thats been weighing very heavily on my mind lately. My husband has agoraphobia. The fear and anxiety basically keep him housebound if he's not with me or his mother. The only thing he does without me anymore is take our son out to the bus. Because of this, for the last 3 or 4 years I have done anything that involves leaving the house. I do all the shopping, pay all the bills. I take our son to any appointments he has. I know it may not seem like much to some people... but it feels like I'm a single parent taking care of two kids. I told my husband more than nine months ago that he had to go get help. For a while he did a little better. He even drove himself to one of his appointments. Then he just stopped seeing his psychiatrist. He sits on his butt and plays computer games all day. I don't know how he acts when I'm not home, but when I am home he sits our son down in front of the TV and leaves him there. I love my husband, but I am beginning to believe that he doesnt want to change. I made an agreement with my husband a very long time ago that I would work and suppost our family while he went to college. When he finished college I was supposed to go. I also told him that I want more kids before I'm 30. I have a little more than 5 years before that time, but if he goes to a four year college that leaves me just a little over a year to have more kids. I have been fighting off my own depression for the past few weeks because I just don't know what to do. I don't want to leave my husband in his time of need, but if I stay I'm going to have to give up on all my hopes and plans for my life. I don't want to put my son through a messy divorce, but I can't help but wonder if we'd be better off without. I'm thinking some counseling for me might be a good idea. Being everyones caretaker is starting to wear me down.

Our free time

2005-12-10T10:23:00.000-06:00

Well, its official. Tilby and I are totally crazy. I had Tilby over Thursday and we threw a birthday party for someone we don't even know. You see, Tilby and I are nuts about a couple of certain actors best known for being hobbits. Thursday was the birthday of one of those actors so we threw him a party. We even had a cake special made for us with his picture on it. The words on the cake said "Enjoy. Its as close as you're ever gonna get" We really need more to do with our free time in the winter... I don't really like driving a whole lot when the roads are wet and nasty. We almost never have a babysitter anyway. Its just way to cold to do skyclad rituals this time of year. What else are we supposed to do?

Christmas shopping

2005-12-07T18:32:00.000-06:00

I really need to start my christmas shopping. I wanted to do it this coming weekend, but a little thing inside my car's engine called a tensioner put a stop to that. $200 to fix a belt and a part about the size of a baseball. Now I'm completely broke and won't have any more money till the 13th. Oh well. I'll just do all my shopping last minute like I do every year. Its always the same thing. In August I tell myself to start early, and the second week in December I still haven't bought a thing. I haven't gotten out my chistmas decorations yet either. I'll be having Tilby over tomorrow for a little party we are throwing, so hopefully we'll have the next part of Keae's Journey posted. Now if I can just convince her to work some more on her Shadowlands story.

I have no life!

2005-12-05T23:34:00.000-06:00

I've been so busy this past week. I worked 16 hours on Friday, 8 on Saturday and Sunday, then 12 more today. Every time I get a little time to stop I fall asleep in my recliner. And I'm still exausted. I keep trying to find time to bring Tilby over, but we just can't seem to get it together. I'm still totally bummed about getting bumped. It used to be that you couldn't bump the new hires for the first six months. They did away with that rule right before they hired us. But I still make more money than Chem and Tut so its all good ;) .

Bumped again

2005-11-30T19:21:00.000-06:00

Well, it looks like my hours will be changing again in about two weeks. I got bumped back to second shift. I knew it was going to happen, but it makes me a little bit angry. The person who bumped me knows that these changes are extremely hard on my family. She had plenty of time to bump me before I even got to day shift. People are so damn selfish. I guess I'll just have to bide my time and wait for another chance to go to days. I just hope I can get there before Joey starts school full time next year.

Celebrate

2005-11-28T17:44:00.000-06:00

I have this urge to celebrate. Its over a kind of silly little thing. For the first time I have a checking account and a savings account. It may sound nuts, but for the first time in a while I feel like I'm making progress in my life. I've got a really good job that I enjoy. I'm making good money and I have pretty good benefits too. I'm even planning on trying to buy a house within the next six months. Its really nice to feel like I'm taking steps forward, instead of standing still, or even backtracking. Now if I can just find a babysitter that my son likes and that doesnt charge to much I'll really be in business. :) I love it when something so simple can make me happy like this.

Happy Thanksgiving

2005-11-23T17:02:00.000-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I won't be able to post tomorrow because I have a busy day ahead of me. I have to work tomorrow and after that its off to my mother in laws. Then I have Friday off. I plan on relaxing all day Friday. I've got nowhere to go and nothing to do. Too bad I have to work Saturday. Otherwise I might go out and get some serious partying done. Not like I ever get to do that sort of thing anymore. Ah well. I'd rather spend time with my son anyway. Have fun doing whatever you have planned for Thanksgiving.

Missed my movie

2005-11-21T17:59:00.000-06:00

As you've probably figured out by my title, I didn't get to go see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire yesterday. My husband and I went to the store and bought a cart-load of stuff that didnt need refrigeration just so we wouldn't have to run home before the movie. Then we made the mistake of stopping to eat lunch. We werent at the restuarant that long. And we arrived at the theater 20 minutes before the show was supposed to start. But unfortunately we didnt arrive early enough. The show was already sold out. I should have thought about the fact that it was Sunday. It looked like every preteen in the city was there. And that means that I probably won't get to see the movie before it leaves theaters. Its rather diffucult for us to find someone willing to watch Joey since my mom and my mom-in-law are both very, very busy with work and I'm to poor to afford a babysitter. I'm going to try to sit down with a notebook sometime tonight and work on the collaberation I was working on with Chem. I need to unwind and when I can actually get some work done on a story I find it therapuetic. Then again, when I can't get any work done it drives me insane. I could really use a night out with the girls. Like thats ever gonna happen

Long week

2005-11-20T10:08:00.000-06:00

I'm slipping this week. Been so busy with work that I just can't find time or energy to post. I'm hoping to bring Tilby over within a few more days since our schedules will be lining up better. I want to give her a chance to entertain you all with more of Kaea's Journey. ( I've already read what she has so far haha :P) I'll be starting my day shift schedule on Monday. I don't know how long I'll stay on day shift, but I intend to make the most of it. I figure I will probably end up getting bumped back off day shift right after the holidays. Speaking of holidays.. I really need to start my christmas shopping. I wanted to start in September this year, but lack of funds kind of killed that idea. I'm not sure I'm ready for christmas vacation. I never get much sleep when school is out. Of course I never get much sleep anyway since I'm something of an insomniac. I have a habit of laying in bed and thinking about my stories when I can't sleep. But since my works are saved on the computer in the bedroom, I can't turn it on and work on them for fear of waking my husband. I've taken to keeping notebooks all over the place so if I think of something really good I can just write it down. I used to do some of my best work when i had a job at a cleaning service. All that mindless physical work was very conductive to my creativity. I can't really call CNA work mindless but it sure pays a lot better. Well have a good rest of the weekend everyone, I'm going to go see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

Tilby

2005-11-16T22:07:00.000-06:00

I hope you will all warmly welcome my co-author. As she said, we have been friends for a very long time. She has some very good works and I'm hoping you guys will enjoy them as much as I have. She does not have regular access to a computer, but I'll try to bring her to my house so she has a chance to wow you all with her writing. And if you guys arent nice to her I'll kill you :)

The Wheels of War - Volume One - Keae's Journey

2005-11-15T17:16:00.000-06:00

Part One

Upper Karnak
1482

Keae straightened from where she crouched in the grass and sniffed the air. The tall, wheat colored grass came up to her chest, and she lightly rested her fingertips on the prickly points, letting them tickle her palms in the slight breeze. It was a calm and clear summer night. The moon was large and full, casting a silvery light across the plain, a thousand little pinpoints of gleaming white light surrounding it in the deep blue-black sky. If she looked behind her, she could see her pack-mates milling about in relaxed companionship, recognize their familiar faces as the warming fires danced off their features. It was a night like any other.
But something was wrong. The air smelled strange. The wind held a hint of something unknown to Keae. Pungent and musty, like that of a wet moorhound, but more fetid. The scent sent little ripples of fear through her. There was just something about it that she did not like. Something unnamable. She must tell Rauhe. Rauhe would know what it was.
She turned, swift and graceful, and sprinted back to the circle of den-homes. A sudden urgency had filled her, adding to her already acute fear. As she passed by the gathering of Talamari, a strong, sun-browned arm reached out to grasp her. Keae whipped her head around sharply to see who dared interrupt her. It was Saeol, her lovemate. He was the best hunter in the tribe, whipcord strong and cunning as the wily weasel. His body was crisscrossed by scars from hard fought battles with prey, some lost. One of his long ears had been partially bitten off in a fight with a wild moorhound.
"Keae, why do you hurry?" he asked in concern, his sharp brown eyes recognizing the near panic in hers. "Is there a cat in the grass?"
"If there was, it would be dead by now. I am no faint cub," she answered quickly, a little irritated that her mate could believe she could be so startled by a mere desert cat. She shook her head, returning her thoughts to the task at hand. "I must speak with Rauhe," she said, tugging her arm slightly to let him know she wished to be released.
He did not let go, but pulled her closer to him, circling her back with his free arm and whispering, "What has happened? You are so anxious."
"Do you not sense it?" she asked, a bit surprised no one else had caught a whiff of the smell. "Do you not feel it?"
He looked at her strangely as he felt the hard goose bumps that had risen all over her body. But he tempered his concern with a smile.
"Your senses are always keening, Prey Finder," he replied, using the nickname the tribe had given her for her penchant for always knowing where to find the best game. "Probably naught but the leavings of a woolybeast, freshly laid."
Her glittering eyes flashed at the suggestion and Keae pushed herself forcibly away from her mate. With a last look that told him he had gravely erred, she turned and broke into a trot, weaving in and out of the dug-out adobe homes. She stopped when she came to the den in the middle of the circle, it's strange, intricate markings proclaiming it belonging to the Knowing One.
Keae hesitated a moment, suddenly wondering if she was making the right decision or if she was merely overreacting, as Saeol had suggested. But she could not see herself overreacting to a pile of dung, especially not with such intensity. Having made her decision final, she trilled loudly with her tongue, a signal for permission to enter. After only a moment, there was an answering trill from somewhere in the den below.

to be continued . . .

Rose's co-author

2005-11-15T17:11:00.000-06:00

Hey ya'll! I'm here to introduce myself. I'm Tilby. I've been Rose's best friend since junior high, which was eons ago. I am her encouragement and her fellow inspiration for her writings, as she is for mine. We support each other. Isn't that special. Anyhoo, she has cordially invited me to post some of my own stories on her site. I am flattered and excited and look forward to reader's feedback.

Lets go drinking!

2005-11-15T09:33:00.000-06:00

I have this serious urge to go out and get very drunk tonight. Thats sort of strange for me because I almost never drink. I have tonight and tomorrow off work and I need someone to go out drinking with me! My friends are all either non drinkers or have no babysitters. I do have a babysitter. Its called a husband :) I dont want to go out by myself. Thats no fun. I'd love to go out to play some pool. Who's with me? Chem c'mon! You and Tut should bring the girls and take a break! You can use this opportunity to do some "re-education". If I still had your number I'd call you and bother you. Ah well. Maybe I'll just get a taxi since I'll have no one to drive my happy ass home. Have fun guys! I plan to :)

2005-11-13T23:25:00.000-06:00

I hope you guys haven't all deserted me. I havent had much to say lately. I've been so busy with work and taking care of my son that I'm usually too tired to do much else. My son has been having some trouble adjusting to my new schedule so pretty much all my extra time has been devoted to him. That and I found out the hard way that mandation is a bitch. I got mandated Friday night and couldnt find anyone to split with me so I had to work a double shift. I also have a total case of writers block, and when I try to write blocked it just sucks. Give me another day or two to recover and hopefully I'll have something written that will be worth reading.

A new beginning

2005-11-10T20:24:00.000-06:00

I've started something new. As you'll notice the story below has no name. I think I'll decide on a name once I've had a little more time to think about the actual story.

No name yet

2005-11-10T19:46:00.000-06:00

Kaleya paced restlessly through the gardens. Her normally serene expression twisted with worry. The messenger was late. The beauty of the rare and fragrant flowers filling her surroundings was lost on her. At the sound of approaching footsteps, she jumped as if struck. A lanky boy in dusty traveling leathers hurried toward her from the direction of the temple. He stopped before her, bowing low. He pulled a rolled parchment from the pack at his waist and wordlessly offered it to her. Her fingers trembling slightly, she took the message and waved the boy away. Bowing low once more, he hastily retreating the way he had come. Her mind filled with an unexpected fear as she looked at the message in her hands. A peal of thunder sounded from nearby, momentarily distracting her thoughts. Pulling herself back to the present, she untied the string binding the scroll. Unable to wait a moment longer, she unrolled the parchment. Her eyes scanned hungrily over the words, searching for the news she craved. Her gazed stopped as the meaning of what she had just read sunk into her mind. Kaleya’s eyes brimmed with tears as she held the letter in her hands. Her smoke colored eyes skimmed the rest of the words, but she took none of them in. A fierce wind whipped through her crimson hair, tearing at her gossamer white gown, and ripping the paper from her grasp. She stood, still as a stone, the loss of the paper going unnoticed. The first drops of rain from what promised to be a vicious storm fell upon her alabaster skin. A fork of lighting snaked through the sky, striking a tree just a few feet away. Kaleya continued to stare out into the night, her mind still circling around the words from the message. A storm at sea, possible the same one that raged around her now, had changed everything. A figure dressed in loose fitting green robes detached itself from the darkness and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “My lady, you’ll catch your death of cold or worse outside on a night like this. Come inside and sit by the fire.” Kaleya turned towards the speaker. Her unfocused eyes stared directly through the newcomer. She blinked rapidly, trying to push through the fog blanketing her mind. Opening her mouth, as if to speak, her features contorted with agony as reality crowded down upon her soul. A high, keening wail pierced the night as Kaleya’s form collapsed under the weight of her grief.

Nothing

2005-11-09T10:22:00.000-06:00

Nothing going on. Nothing on TV. Nothing to say I guess

Poetry

2005-11-06T23:23:00.000-06:00

For some odd reason I'm feeling dark and moody today. I've decided to post a poem I wrote a very long time ago. I hate the poem and think it stinks, but I couldnt think of anything else to post today.

Falling
Falling down an endless well,
never knowing how I fell.
Somehow I fell over the edge,
I guess I stepped off my precarious ledge.
I wish I knew how to get back,
and maybe get my life on track.
Don't know how I fell so far,
I lost sight of my guiding star.
How far I'll fall I dont know,
but I've never fallen this low.

Falling down an endless well,
maybe I'm falling straight to hell.
Somehow I fell over the edge,
No way to get back on my ledge.
I wish I knew how to get back,
to before I let my sanity crack.
Don't know how I fell so far,
must have left my inner doors ajar.
how far I'll fall I don't know.
Never should have let my heart go.

Falling down and endless well,
I guess I've fallen straight to hell.

Spongebob

2005-11-05T12:21:00.000-06:00

I think I've finally figured it out.... Chems brain draining machine didnt do anything to me... my brain had been turned to worthless mush long before by the almost nonstop spongebob marathon that goes on at my house. My son is a huge spongebob fan.. he has toys, videos, cereal, towels, bedsheets, clothes, and almost anything else you can think of with spongebob on it. After a while the show's inane dialog starts to take up all the extra space in your head. If you keep watching long enough, it will even start to crowd out all the other things in your skull until nothing else remains. Put on any spongebob episode my son has, and I can almost speak with the characters word for word. Ask me what the square root of 4 is and I could have a problem. I have dreams that are square and yellow... someone help me? please?

New Material

2005-11-02T23:28:00.000-06:00

I need something new to work on.... I was working on Blood Vengeance, but I need a break. I thought I was going to be doing a collaberation with Chem, but I guess hes been to busy to e-mail me back. ( :P ) Since I know how Blood Vengeance ends I think I might go ahead and start working on the sequal. Or maybe I'll just take a break from writing all together for a while. I might have to whether I want to or not. I get blocked so easily. Its very frustrating for me to want to write so badly and not be able to. Any of you know a reliable cure for writers block? Oh well. If this is like the last few times I got blocked, then maybe I'll be able to write again in six months or so.

Happy Halloween

2005-11-01T11:24:00.000-06:00

Happy Halloween everyone! (yeah I know Im a day late. I had to work so stfu) I hope everyone had a good time on All Hallows Eve this year. I spent my evening wiping chocolate pudding off half my residents. My husband got the pleasure of taking my son trick or treating. He wore an adorable Mr Incredible costume. My son that is. Its all he has wanted to wear since we got it for him at the beginning of October. Im having a rather strange day. Those of you who know where I work will know what I mean. I just got bumbed to day shift. Im giving it a week or two before I get bumped back off days and onto somewhere else. I considered bumping someone lower than me to get back on 2nd shift, but I figure I'll wait on it a few days. Maybe I'll get to stay on day shift. And maybe Chem will sprout wings and turn into an angel.

Holidays

2005-10-29T10:46:00.000-05:00

I finally got my schedule this week. sort of. I agreed to change schedules with one of the other new guys to help him out. When I actually looked to see, I realized I would have had new years eve off if I had kept my schedule. Now I have to work christmas eve, christmas day, new years eve, and new years day. I guess it kinda worked out tho. The person i switched with absolutely insisted I take $50 for helping him out. I felt pretty weird taking the money, and I tried to refuse several times. wow.... I tried to refuse money... I must not be feeling well. Maybe I'll go drinking this weekend. $50 is more than enough to put me well under the table. to bad the rest of you probably have to work

My son

2005-10-27T23:29:00.000-05:00

What follows is a very personal post. Im not really sure why Im posting it. I guess i just want to get this out....... For a few days now, I've been thinking about talking to my readers about my son. My son is four years old, with kinda dirty blonde hair and blue eyes. His name is Joey, and as any mother or father can understand, he is the center of my life. I guess my desire to talk about him stems from the fact that on my blog I dont have to listen to anyone try to convince me that everything will be fine blah blah blah. My son is autistic ( or so the doctors claim, but thats a whole different subject) He has the vocabulary skills of a 18 month to 2 year old. He attends a special ed class at preschool and gets speech and occupational therapy. For 2 years I let everyone around me tell me that my son was fine. I ignored that voice inside me that said something wasnt right. When he didnt start talking by 2, I let people convince me that he was just a late bloomer. I failed myself, and worst of all I failed my son. He is improving now, but it makes me crazy to think I lost so much time. Autistic children do better the earlier they recieve the necessary therapy and interventions. I guess this is my insane way of telling my readers to never doubt their instincts when it comes to their children.

School pictures

2005-10-26T10:44:00.000-05:00

For any of you parents in this area, today is picture day for the early childhood center. I found out about this yesterday when I was getting my son ready to go to school. Found the info packet in his bag. I must say it would have been nice to have a little more notice. I never cared what I wore to school on picture day when I was in school. But this is my son! He has to look perfect. On a normal day my son wears t-shirt and jeans. Today he is still wearing jeans, but I broke down and put a dress shirt on him. He looks pretty sharp if you ask me. I guess in a way Im glad I didnt have more notice about the pictures. If I had known I probably would have talked myself into buying a whole new outfit, shoes and all, just for picture day. Either that or my mother in law would have found out and tried to take over the whole process. Now Im going to have to get ready to go to the school so the photographer doesnt scared the heck out of my son this year. You'd think they would hire people who are good with kids to do school pictures.

My new segment

2005-10-25T23:28:00.000-05:00

I figure that I'd like to include one of my biggest hobbies into my blog. I am what I like to refer to as a video game addict. So I decided to do a review from time to time. For my first attempt I'm going to do a short review of a new game for the PS2 called Shadow of the Colossus. Here goes.

For the most part, the game was pretty fun. It revolves around killing colossus' by climbing up their bodies to find their weak points. The controls were a little clunky, but by far the worst part was the camera angles. I cant count how many times I found myself cursing at the TV because I couldnt see what I was doing. The gameplay itself was pretty innovative, and finding your way up the colossus' bodies was pretty challenging at times. I wont get into details, but the story was pretty simple and straightforward. All in all it was a pretty good game, but considering the fact I beat the game in two days and have no interest in replaying, I would say that $50 for this game is to much. Definitely a rental and not a buy.

My first day on second shift

2005-10-24T23:38:00.000-05:00

All in all I had a pretty good day. For the most part it was uneventfull. Until one of the residents asked us where the whorehouse was. Then told us Quincy was worthless because we dont have one. Dont you just love what some of these residents come up with? I felt pretty good most of the night, but now that I'm home I feel like my legs are gonna fall off. Perhaps one of my readers could recommend a good masseus? (I think I spelled that right) I could really use a full body massage right now :)

A few things I've learned

2005-10-23T18:39:00.000-05:00

I've decided to try my hand at Chems "things I've learned" segment. So without further ado, here they are.
1. A four year old will eat anything, as long as it isnt green.
2. Thong underpants and CNA work dont mix well.
3. Multiple debates in a day are actually possible if you get the kid out of the house.
4. If you arent sure how old something in your fridge is, dont eat it just throw it out
5. No matter how old you get your parents will always find new ways to annoy you.
6. When you want to say something funny, you just cant.

Not as good as Chems, I know, but its a start.

Prologue

2005-10-22T09:14:00.000-05:00

Well, there you have it. The complete prologue for Blood Vengeance. The next part of the story is not nearly as intense, and I'm not sure I'm going to serial post it. While my long time readers might stick with it after reading the prologue, newcomers might be sorta bored by it. If anyone is interested tho, I am considering sending further parts of the story out via e-mail. Send me an e-mail with the subject Blood Vengeance if you want to see more of it. And now, I'm off to go have fun for the rest of my weekend

Blood Vengeance part 3

2005-10-22T08:57:00.000-05:00

Mira's eyes widened as the grip on her hand slackened and the girl's eyes drifted closed. For a moment Mira could only stare, shocked, at the now still form before her. A stab of fear lanced through her as she realized that the girl's lips were blue and she drew no breath. Mira reached down and shook her brieflym praying she would wake. When there was no response, Mira turned questioning eyes to Mother Rea. The wide, fear glazed look on Rea's weathered face told Mira there would be no help from that corner.
Considering her course only for a moment, Mira reached down and pulled a slim dagger from the sheath hidden in her boot. She had never attempted what she was about to do, but she would not ignore the life that could still be saved. She pulled her sleeves back in preparation for what would soon become grim work. Rea, who had finally come to her senses, strode forward and placed a restraining hand on Mira's arm before she could begin.
"What do you think you're doing Mira," she demaned, "How dare you bring that thing into a birthing room!"
"The baby is going to die," she replied, "We don't have any time. The girl is beyond our help now, but her child may not be!"
"No Mira. That child will bring us nothing but misfortune. Look at all the signs." Rea gestured vaguely. "The storm, the evil blasphemous witch tongue spewed from her lips, and now her death. Let the child go to the grave with her."
A mutinous look overtook Mira's features, but before she could reply, the door to the infirmary burst open. A disheveled woman entered, and crossed directly to Mother Rea.
She bowed briefly before she began. "Mother Rea you must come right away! Lightning has struck the storehouse! The storm continues to rage, but the storehouse roof is burning!"
"Lightning striking from a winter storm? No matter, we must save what we can. Gather everyone you can and begin moving the supplies away from the fire. I'll be there shortly." Rea motioned for the newcomer to leave, and made to follow her. Stopping briefly in the doorway, she turned back to Mira. "Remember what I said Mira. This latest bit only proves what I said. When I return I expect the stranger to be prepared for burial." With that, Rea closed the door behind her.
Mira stared at the door, her conscience screaming at her. She glanced at the still and silent form on the bed. A debate waged a fierce and swift war inside her heart. Closing her eyes for a moment to steel herself against her fear, she lifted the knife still in her hand and set about to save the life still trapped inside.

Yay for the weekend!

2005-10-21T15:39:00.000-05:00

Its friday and I have the weekend off. I love weekends off. Might actually get a chance to do some "debating"(for reference go look at the comments from Chems tuesday post). Chem seems to have turned off that infernal machine as well. I found my CD and I have every intention of spending some quality time rocking to my favorite band. Work was good today. I saw one of Chems fellow students piss off one of my residents and the guy threw a glass of water all over one of the CNA's and another resident. I had to go hide in the utility room till I could stop laughing. Have a good weekend everyone!

Bob

2005-10-20T18:26:00.000-05:00

Well everyone, as of today I have been rechristened by Chem. I am now known as Bob. And since the brain draining machine still seems to be working I dont have much else to say. Work was boring. Home is as always. In fact the only thing that happened at all today totally stunk. I seem to have lost my favorite CD. Its probably on my computer desk in which case it may never be found. Chem would you kindly turn off the machine since I dont seem to be able to?

100 mark

2005-10-19T17:42:00.000-05:00

Wow! I've been blogging only a short while, and I've already had 100 hits. Good for me. Of course half of those are probably from me constantly checking my blog for spam or other comments. I think i was going to write something witty or funny today, but at the moment I seem to be completely brain dead... Chem must have drained my brain waves somehow when he was doing his clinical on my floor. Or maybe my brain is just shutting down after listening for two days to a coworker talk endlessly about his Ron Jeremy Halloween costume.

Suggestions?

2005-10-17T16:01:00.000-05:00

I was thinking that my blog is missing something... It has my writing in it, but I'd like to make the blog a bit more interesting. I considered writing about my life day to day, but I would probably bore everyone to sleep within a day or two. Perhaps my readers would like to make a few suggestions? Any thought or comments would be appreciated. Suggestions on my story posts would be welcome as well.

Blood Vengeance part 2

2005-10-15T23:27:00.000-05:00

"Mira, why didnt you have Ida tell me the girl's water has broken," Rea demanded.
The girl called Mira sank into the chair across from the bed and pushed her mousy brown hair out of her youthful face. Soft gray eyes looked up at Rea pleadingly as she prepared for the worst.
"I'm sorry Mother Rea! Truly I am," Mira insisted, "Ida told me it would be alright! She said she'd tell you it was urgent!"
"Your punishment will have to wait Mira. Whoever our young lady is, she needs all the help we can give right now."
Mira sighed in resignation. She knew it was useless to argue with Mother Rea. Wordlessly she took the cloths from Rea and began to soak them in the water from the pitcher. Handing the first to Rea, she began to lose herself in the familiar routine that came with being Rea's midwife assistant. Thoughts swirled relentlessly inside her head as she worked, a constant barrage that would not be silenced. Their guest had come to them just a few hours ago. She had already been in labor for some time. Mira couldn't help but wonder how in the world the girl had come to be in the mountains in the middle of a raging snowstorm. The wind continued to wail outside and a muffled peal of thunder rumbled discontentedly as if to empasize Mira's thoughts.
Mira was so absorbed in her menial task she didnt hear the first muttered words that escaped the laboring girls lips. Mira continued on with her work, unaware of the growing volume of the girls words. Mother Rea's sudden vice like grip on her shoulder brought her back to reality. Loud, clear words streamed from the girl's lips as she arced back against the contraction tearing through her body. Rea and Mira stood white faced and speechless as the words became a litany, a chant in a tongue foreign from their own.
A thunderous roar boomed from somewhere close by. Shouts began sounding from outside the infirmary, and the echo of footfalls could be heard racing through the halls. The cacophony barely registered in the minds of the two sisters inside the little room. Their attention was riveted on the woman child before them.
A second, stronger contraction carved it's way across the young woman's features and her torrent of words slid into an earsplitting scream. As the cry faded into silence, her cerulean eyes fixed onto Mira. She weakly lifted a hand to beckon Mira nearer. Hesitantly at first, then with growing courage, Mira approached the side of the bed. The girl reached out, clasped Mira's hand, and opened her mouth to speak. Haltingly, she issued a plea.
"Please... My baby... Save my daughter," she begged.
(to be continued)

Weekend

2005-10-15T10:35:00.000-05:00

I've been very busy the last few days with work and family. I have this weekend off, and I was really looking forward to a quiet, peaceful weekend. Alas, it was not to be. When I woke up this morning, I had nicely asked my hubby to let me use the computer. My wonderful and sensitive husband (can you feel the sarcasm?) said something to the effect of "If thats what it takes to get you out of bed, then whatever." Those of you that know me well will know that I have sleeping problems which I am very sensitive about. Needless to say, the situation turned into a shouting match and now my husband is pouting in his room. Hopefully some of you will have the good weekend I am denied. My weekend will be full of trips to my parents house and more errands than I want or need to do. If I actually have access ot a computer I'll try to post again soon.

Normal day

2005-10-12T21:54:00.000-05:00

I'm having trouble thinking of anything witty or interesting to day today. For once the whole day went pretty smoothly. No problems at work or at home.... wow.. maybe I should mark it on my calender... I am proud to announce I have begun receiving spam! Lovely isnt it? I'll be posting more on Blood Vengeance in a day or two, in case any one was wondering.

Blood Vengeance part 1

2005-10-11T19:15:00.000-05:00

Mother Rea padded quietly down the hall, tightly clutching a bundle of old cloths to her chest. No signs of comfort showed in the worn stone floor or the unadorned wood paneling the walls. Oil burning lamps set at intervals into the walls lit the way ahead. The wind howled restlessly outside, causing the rough-hewn timbers in the ceiling to creak and groan. Rea wondered at it for a moment, as it had been years since they had experienced a storm of this severity. The wind had started around lunchtime nearly a week before. It had turned bitterly cold outside quite suddenly, and before the evening meal of the day was over it was snowing heavily. Most storms would have blown themselves out by now. Rather than becoming weaker, this storm seemed to gain strength with each passing hour.
Rea pulled her shawl tighter across her shoulders to ward off a sudden chill. Her graying auburn hair was tightly pinned in a severe bun at the nape of her neck and only accentuated the worry lines creasing her timeworn face. Her muddy brown eyes surveyed the hallway before her as she strode towards her destination. Her entire life had been spent inside the four walls of the little convent in the mountains, but even so she could have found her destination had it been her first day. The screams coming from the infirmary echoed in nearly ever corner and even the most stalwart of the sisters had begun to wonder if a demon was about to be placed among them.
Rea stopped for a moment outside the plain wooden door and took a deep calming breath. She had seen childbirth many times before, why should this occasion bother her so. After calming her nerves enough to at least stop the shaking in her hands she turned the knob and swung the door open. The sight that beheld her eyes was the same as all the other births she has been midwife for in this very room. The minimal furnishings consisited of a small worktable, a chair, and a large straw bed. On the worktable lay a single lamp, an clay pitcher, and a similar clay basin filled with steaming hot water.
The woman lying on the bed looked up at Rea with pain-glazed eyes the color of the sky and moaned as another contraction ripped through her slight frame. Rea studied her for a moment and noticed at once that to call her a woman would be a stretch. She couldnt possibly be older than sixteen summers. Her once honey golden locks lay damp and tangled against her sweat soaked brow. The plain brown shift she wore stretched tight against her swollen abdomen and Rea was shocked to realize that the moisture saturating the gown was not just perspiration. Rea turned to the final occupant of the room and pierced her with an icy glare.
(to be continued)

Copyright

2005-10-11T19:08:00.000-05:00

Since I decided to start publishing a few of my works, I've decided that perhaps I should make sure its protected. As of today all my works a protected under a Creative Commons License. see below if you have questions.

My Fiction

2005-10-10T11:18:00.000-05:00

While looking over other peoples blogs I've noticed that many people post there stories on their blogs. Im an aspiring author myself so perhaps I might try the same. Silly as it may sound tho, I wonder if I should post full versions of what Im working on, or abbreviate them. My works have a tendancy to be kinda long... Like the time I wrote a 67 page story for an assignment that required 15 pages. I dont have any regular readers on this blog yet but I must confess it would be nice to hear an opinion on this.

What am I doing?

2005-10-10T10:47:00.000-05:00

Well, here goes. Thought I'd try my hand at blogging. Looked over a few to give me some ideas and once I figure out how all this works Im hoping people will at least somewhat enjoy this blog.