Hi there

Its been nearly a week since my last post. My how time flies. Christmas is even closer and I'm still not even started. I just can't seem to get into the christmas spirit this year. I've already got so much on my shoulders that Christmas just seems like another burdon for me to bear on my own. I want to ask you guys for some advice. I have a problem thats been weighing very heavily on my mind lately. My husband has agoraphobia. The fear and anxiety basically keep him housebound if he's not with me or his mother. The only thing he does without me anymore is take our son out to the bus. Because of this, for the last 3 or 4 years I have done anything that involves leaving the house. I do all the shopping, pay all the bills. I take our son to any appointments he has. I know it may not seem like much to some people... but it feels like I'm a single parent taking care of two kids. I told my husband more than nine months ago that he had to go get help. For a while he did a little better. He even drove himself to one of his appointments. Then he just stopped seeing his psychiatrist. He sits on his butt and plays computer games all day. I don't know how he acts when I'm not home, but when I am home he sits our son down in front of the TV and leaves him there. I love my husband, but I am beginning to believe that he doesnt want to change. I made an agreement with my husband a very long time ago that I would work and suppost our family while he went to college. When he finished college I was supposed to go. I also told him that I want more kids before I'm 30. I have a little more than 5 years before that time, but if he goes to a four year college that leaves me just a little over a year to have more kids. I have been fighting off my own depression for the past few weeks because I just don't know what to do. I don't want to leave my husband in his time of need, but if I stay I'm going to have to give up on all my hopes and plans for my life. I don't want to put my son through a messy divorce, but I can't help but wonder if we'd be better off without. I'm thinking some counseling for me might be a good idea. Being everyones caretaker is starting to wear me down.